Words of Appreciation

I started hearing from Jagad Guru Siddhaswarupananda and practicing meditation almost 20 years ago. Since then my spiritual journey has been the backbone of my life. Each day trying to focus on what is important and letting go of what isn't.

As a child growing up with an abusive father and living with domestic violence as the dominating factor of my early childhood, I felt always consumed by what I had been through, it would always be reflected in decisions I made, how I thought and how I reacted. I spent a good part of my life trying to forget what happened, but even if through the day I could place the memories to the very back of my mind, at night it haunted me. This led me to becoming an insomniac at the age of 8 and suffering from anxiety and panic attacks. But mostly I had a lot of anger.

This anger was something I struggled with. I carried so much anger towards my father for what he did, my mother for staying there in that situation and myself for not being able to help, for also not being able to let go of the anger the pain and the feeling of being cheated. It all just kept rolling around my mind like a washing machine going through different cycles, anger, resentment, self-pity, depression.

Knowing that I needed help with what I was going through and not finding the answers in drinking, partying, drugs and other mind numbing processes, I tried to find the answer through a spiritual path.

I started practicing meditation and listening to Jagad Guru speak not long after starting my search. Meditation began to clear my mind and ease some of my anxiety. Hearing talks about spiritual topics, studying the Science of Identity, learning I wasn't the body or my mind was the beginning of my spiritual life.

After about 3 months of practicing meditation, I heard Jagad Guru speak about forgiveness, this talk was so poignant to my life, it changed everything. Hearing this simple truth from Jagad Guru made me understand that without forgiving everyone including myself, I wouldn't be able to let go of all those emotions and memories. Following the advice with sincerity, taking it one step at a time, I was able to forgive, my heart was able to heal. The anger was replaced with love, I was able to move beyond and let go of those ties that bound me to the past. My heart replaced the bad with love for God, it then enabled me to have love for others without the fear of my past dictating my decisions.

Everything I have achieved since hearing Jagad Guru speak is incredible. I no longer jump or hide at the sound of raised voices, bangs don't send me into a panic. I sleep without the terror but mostly I love without the fear of rejection, as the love is based on love for God.

I feel incredibly fortunate to be in the situation I am in now, I owe so much to Jagad Guru. Without Him speaking about these incredible truths from the Vedas and sharing them with everyone I would never have started this amazing journey and come to this point in my life.

I was 19 when I went to my first yoga and meditation class. The teacher was my age, which made the class feel more appealing.

I was having a really hard time at that point, having suffered a great deal of mental and emotional anguish for about 8 years. I had been suffering bulimia and anorexia, amongst other distressing behaviours. I was pretty much ready to give up. Even though I was receiving the top clinical support in Australia, I felt really strongly like there was something missing.

I had no one in my life that was interested in all the big questions ... who am I? Why am I here? What is my purpose? I was so sick of being told that the answers to those questions were ‘relative’ or ‘unknown’. This reinforced my feelings of emptiness and loneliness.

I knew deep down inside that I wanted to know answers, and the teachings of Jagad Guru gave answers and meaning to all of those questions. After just a few short months of immersing myself in studying his teachings, I no longer felt paralysed by loneliness or trapped in a situation where I felt I had no purpose.

Not only did he explain why things are the way they are, but he took the time to explain how to apply the wisdom to daily life, so that anyone--no matter what age, sex, race--could benefit from the yoga process he was teaching. This had a profound effect on my health, mentally, physically and spiritually. It changed my whole way of thinking, shifting my consciousness from anxiety, fear and selfishness to care and compassion for others and myself.

A practice that really helped me a lot was japa meditation. I was always really anxious and overwhelmed by my excessive energy and found it hard to sit still, so didn’t do well with seated, quiet meditation practices. What I loved about japa meditation is that I didn’t have to sit still. I didn’t really have to give anything up either. I just found a way to add it to my life.

I used to go for a daily beach walk with my headphones in, listening to music. So I switched the music for mantras. I started taking my japa beads and chanting mantras instead. It was the only time in my day I felt completely at rest. And this practice is something I’ve done every day since. I love it because it’s practical and so effective.

Over the past years of practicing mantra meditation and living the yoga lifestyle, my relationships have improved significantly, and my relationship with the world has also improved. It feels so good to have a harmonious relationship with my family and friends - relationships that were previously severely damaged from my mental condition. I feel so grateful to be able to fully recover from the nightmare of living with an eating disorder. I was told by doctors that full recovery is rare, and that some never heal from such a condition. I feel very fortunate to have had the guidance of Jagad Guru to help me heal from the inside out – and the journey back to health was full of warmth and love, which eased the fear of letting go and making the big changes I knew I had to face up to.

I went from ‘getting through life’, living aimlessly and carelessly, to living life with a deep sense of purpose. After applying these teachings for a few years now, I have a strong sense of confidence from knowing who I am on a deeper level, and am able to live my life accordingly. I’m currently raising 4 children and take comfort in knowing that I can pass on everything Jagad Guru has taught me.

The meditation process and the teachings from the Science of Identity Foundation have changed my life dramatically. In a world full of suffering and despair, not many people can honestly say they are actually ‘happy’. I am one of the fortunate people who, having come from a life of deep despair and loneliness, now lives a genuinely happy, healthy life.

Fifteen years ago, I was at a point in my life where I had reached most of the goals I had made for myself. I had finished school, had a good paying job I loved, a fantastic social life, a lot of friends, no debt and travelled. Although on the outside everything seemed to be great, something was missing that I couldn’t put my finger on. I tried filling up that emptiness in different ways.

All my free time was spent trying to have fun. I was also doing a lot of volunteer work to try to help others. I felt the need to always be busy and around a lot of people. The minute I was by myself I felt sad and lonely. No matter what I did I had an unexplainable emptiness inside.

My spiritual journey began when I thought there had to be more to life than this. At that time I had a realization that God was in fact real and there was a deeper meaning to my existence. I now set myself new goals… I wanted to know who God was and the meaning of life. I was searching in many places for answers to these questions. During my search I thought I would try meditation, I then came into contact with Jagad Guru Siddhaswarupananda. I was not sure if I would be able to meditate as I have a very busy mind and could not sit still for 10 minutes. I had tried meditating in the past with little success. I was pleasantly surprised when I was taught an easy and enjoyable way to meditate that I could do. With kirtan (singing meditation) I was enjoying myself so much I couldn’t believe I was actually meditating and I felt great. I would chant on my meditation beads when I went out walking every day to the store, to work or just going out and about. I started to notice a nice calming feeling that would stay with me. I was also able to spend time by myself and not feel lonely. Things that used to make me angry and anxious would not bother me quite so much anymore. Gradually I felt the empty hole in my heart getting filled and was starting to feel satisfied in my life.

Jagad Guru answered all my questions in a way that I could easily understand. He taught me about God, and the goal and purpose of life. With his guidance I was able to use my natural propensities in the service of God and others. Applying these teachings to my life has given me a great sense of happiness and satisfaction. It has helped me with relationships with others, to decrease my anger, and to get through hard times. Is has also enabled me to experience love and inner peace and I no longer feel lonely and empty. I am very thankful and grateful for Jagad Guru’s guidance and teachings.